How can it be August already? This year is flying by. Before I know it, it will be winter again and I’ll be freezing my ass off. I tried to think positively about winter last year, but that didn’t help much. I need to come up with a way of making winter more tolerable to me, because it’s going to arrive whether I want it to or not.
This has been an interesting week. Interesting as in fairly bizarre. It’s not a full moon, is it? Some of the more interesting occurrences:
I frequent a certain local restaurant that will remain nameless here (I’ve learned my lesson well in the great and powerful all-knowing Google.)There’s a sweet young man that works there and he’s always chatting me up. I know he’s not hitting on me, as he’s very obviously gay. So gay that even I know he’s gay, and I have the worst gaydar ever. So one evening this week he comes over and says to me, “Sweetie, when I’m in drag, I wish I could look just like you!” Mind you, he’s a short, chubby, Hispanic guy. I just smiled and told him thank you. I think that supposed to be a compliment? I wanted to laugh, but it didn’t want him to think I was laughing at him. The best part is that right before I left, he pointed to “the girls” and asked if they were real, because if they weren’t he wanted to know where I had them done because they are, and I quote, “fan-tas-tic”.
Another day this week I carried around $600 in cash stuffed into my bra. Too long of a story to explain. Does anyone remember bra purses? My grandma used to knit them. She gave me one once when I was about 12. I was so flat chested then that it would’ve been painfully obvious that I was trying to stash my cash.
In the 90 minutes that I was at the gym this evening, I was asked out twice. Note to all men: telling a woman that she shouldn’t ride her bike alone because she will end up murdered on the side of the road is not a good segue into asking her out. A) I’m not stupid (the blonde hair tends to make people think that) B) That’s a pretty creepy thing to say.
The man working at the tire store thought that my son was my husband. Thank you. Wait… Ewwww.
Here’s to the rest of August being a lot less “interesting” than it’s been so far.
August 3, 2014
How to like winter better? Move!
Your week founds hilarious to me. But seriously, what kind of creeper talks about a woman getting murdered like that. Ugh, men sometimes!