for all of this i honor you. {a new years poem}

Tuesday, January 3, 2017 No tags Permalink

For you, and for the lifetimes you’ve lived in one short year:

For the endings, and the beginnings and all the spaces in between.

For last year’s words and this years voice and for everything that must remain unsaid.

For boldly speaking your truth and for all that you still hold inside.

For falling over and over and rising again and again.

For life lessons that left you in stunned disbelief and the gentle eyes of an unexpected teacher who lifted you up and carried you from the void.

For living the questions and for discovering the answers.

For losing your way and finding your tribe.

For being willing to break in order to become.

For lust and for trust and for the long twisty journey in between the two.

For head up and eyes wide open and for moments of faith when there is no light to be found.

For quiet resolve and for wailing confusion.

For eyes locked across a room for the first time and for the way your hands find each other in the middle of the night after years of sharing the same bed.

For the courage to strike off on your own and for the comfort of knowing you can always come back home.

For taking up arms against fears and demons and those intent on harm, and for laying down your weapons and walking away in peace.

For claiming what is rightfully yours and for releasing what can no longer be.

For loving what you don’t understand and questioning what you thought you knew for sure.

For letting go and holding on tight.

For losing it all in order to gain what matters.

For standing tall and learning your truth and for forgetting it all in order to start all over again.

For blind faith in something you cannot see, touch or feel and for knowing that all of life is at your fingertips.
For the beauty in contradiction, the bitterness in the compromise and the brilliance of the mystery.

For dancing with ache and longing, and for making peace with what you have.

For grasping tight and for releasing to the wind.
and the unknowing and that sliver of space where both coexist.

For the buckets of salty tears and the kindness that dried them all.

For pleasure and for pain and for the ability to hold both in one body.

For simple pleasures and crazy imaginings.

For the releasing the wild spirit within and for holding yourself in quiet dignity.

For blazing seduction, for the wild rhythm of bodies and lips and teeth and skin and for tender reverence and holding hands and spooning in the dark.

For the ease found in comfort zones and for the fierce reality of smashing down walls.

For angry battles, and grudges held and for the sweet bliss of forgiveness.

For the desolation of the desert, for the pounding of the surf and for the forever green of the forest.

For boundaries crossed and limits held firm.

For the dishes and the laundry and the dust bunnies. For keeping up with the Joneses and for leaving the mess to go out and play instead.

For building a house of cards and for burning it all to the ground.

For painstaking attention and determination and for wasting hours on beautifully impossible daydreams.

For red wine and dark chocolate and hot sex and all the earthly pleasures that ground you here.

For celebration and for mourning and for surrounding both in the ritual of spirit.

For believing and for questioning and for the unsteady ground that bridges the two.

For holding your breath till your lungs burn and for the sweet relief of the exhale.

For head-spinning kisses and mind-numbing loneliness.

For thinking you might never get what you want and for knowing you’ll always have what you need and for the bittersweet edge that this acceptance brings.

For companionship and for solitude and for the spaces you can have both at once.

For solo living room dance parties and for singing in the shower.

For hula hoops and crayons and roller skates. For growing older in body and staying young in spirit.

For the times you thought you couldn’t go on, and the moment you realized that nothing could stop you.

For knowing that you are divinity personified, beautiful beyond comprehension and powerful beyond measure.

For all of this I honor you, the year you have lived and the one you are about to begin.

Happy New Year.

– Jeanette LeBlanc

Learning to Receive

Monday, January 2, 2017 No tags Permalink

I read two things today, two very poignant things.  It was exactly what I needed to read, exactly when I needed it. These pieces caused me to have some rather painful realizations, but that may be just what I need right now. Life works in mysterious ways sometimes. 😊

I’m going to share one of the writings that was sent to me. I may share the other one on here as well, or I may just send it directly to the person that it applies to. I haven’t decided yet.

This is could have been written by me. I never ask for help. I never admit that I need anything. When you are un-demanding and self-sufficient everyone forgets you even have needs and you’re easy to be pushed down the ladder of priorities. 

Continue Reading…

Here’s to a Brilliant New Year!

Sunday, January 1, 2017 No tags Permalink


This is your year – the year you stop making everyone happy besides yourself, the year you know you matter and the year you let your voice shine. This is the year of you.

This year don’t do things like 2016. Don’t surrender your happiness in order to make someone else happy while you’re miserable. Don’t give into people’s requests who would never lift a finger for you. Don’t say yes when all you want is to say no. Don’t put yourself through that self-inflicting torture anymore because you matter – you matter.

If you’re working a job that’s making you miserable, a job that literally makes you want to break down in tears before you go because you hate it so much – quit.

Don’t do anything that doesn’t inspire you to live a better life. Don’t do anything that drains you more than it fulfills you.
If you hate your job that much then there is no point in continuing to do it. Look for another job, look anywhere else that you think would make you happier.

Your happiness is important; you shouldn’t constantly put it on the back burner for a paycheck or to make others happy.

Your happiness and your mental health go hand-in-hand. Don’t put so much pressure on yourself that you fail to take care of yourself, that you wind up sick and mentally drained. Don’t torture yourself in this way because no amount of money is worth this self-inflicting pain.

Find the things that make you smile and keep doing them. Cherish the things that make you feel loved and don’t ever let them go. Hold on to the moments that make your stomach ache from so much laughter and don’t ever take them for granted. Life is good, life is so good as long as you allow it to be.

In 2017 don’t dwell on the negatives, laugh off the disasters and turn your attention to the good. If it won’t matter a couple years from now it’s nothing to stress yourself out about even if it feels like the world is crashing down at you in the moment, just know it will pass.

Just do what makes you happy this year. If that means breaking up with your partner who you feel is holding you back, let them go. If that means quitting your job, moving across the world, getting a divorce or stepping out of your comfort zone for the first time, please do it.

Life is meant to be lived, it’s meant to be enjoyed because there are millions of things to be seen and happy about, but we often only experiences a sliver of them. So make 2017 your year, make it the year that makes you happy, let it be your best year yet.

Don’t be afraid to try something new because the worst that happens is you fail, but at least you’re trying, at least you’re doing something to better yourself.

This year don’t focus on anyone else. Don’t focus on your parents or your friends or your coworkers – focus on you.

Make yourself the center of your world and care for yourself the way you care about the people you love. Go the extra mile you’ve gone for so many other people in your life, but this time go the distance for yourself.
You deserve that.

Every new year you tell yourself this is going to be your year, but this time really mean it.

Sixteen Going on Seventeen

Saturday, December 31, 2016 No tags Permalink

I just couldn’t resist this! So perfect, and also one of my favorite movies. 😊

It appears that my site, just like 2016, was experiencing some technical difficulties.  My site wasn’t too hard to fix, and I wish I could say the same about 2016 and this country electing Trump as the President. It still doesn’t sound right when I hear someone say “President-elect Trump”. How can this be real?

But I digress. It’s New Year’s Eve, but that’s never been a huge thing for me. I not much of a late night person, I don’t want to be out on the road on a night when there’s the potential for a lot of drunk drivers, and I figured out a long time ago that you do not want to be a single woman at a New Year’s party. Every single (and some of the not so single) guys will hit on you. No thanks!


I love to cuddle up with good snacks and a blanket and watch my traditional New Year’s Eve movies. When Harry Met Sally is one of my top favorite movies and I always watch it with n New Year’s. One of the local TV stations here used to play it every New Year’s Eve and I’ve continued that tradition. What can I say, I’m a girl-y girl sometimes. 😉

Nora Ephron had a way with words. They just don’t write dialogue like this anymore. It’s a romantic comedy but it’s actually witty.

I wish I still had my telescope! 2016 ends with fireworks as three planets line up as if ejected from a Roman candle. Mercury, Venus and Mars are visible above the sunset horizon all month long. As Venus climbs higher in the sky, it looks brighter and larger than it appeared last month.

On New Year’s Eve, Mars and Neptune appear very close to each other. Through telescopes, rusty red Mars and blue-green Neptune’s colors contrast beautifully. Plus, there’s supposed to be a beautiful crescent moon tonight.

Have a safe and festive New Year’s Eve! 🎉🎊💥

B-I-N-G-O

Sunday, December 25, 2016 No tags Permalink

Oh wow, I really love this! I think I may have already done enough of these to hit bingo. 😊 I especially laughed at “declined an invitation” because there’s no way I could have survived going to all the parties I was invited to this year.

Just the other night I stayed in, made hot cocoa and read my annual Christmas traditional read, David Sedaris’ Holidays on Ice. Containing short stories such as “Dinah, the Christmas Whore”, it’s  probably not suited for everyone’s sense of humor, but I love it!

Nativity

Saturday, December 24, 2016 No tags Permalink

The image below reveals what the nativity scene would look like if all Jews, Midldle Easterners, and refugees were scrubbed away from the birth of Jesus. Spoiler alert: There’s no one there, save for a few animals.

Christians need to remember that hate is not a Christian value and Jesus said “Love one another” not “Love one another only if they’re the same race, ethnicity, and religion as you.”

On a much lighter note, I just found a few pictures of me and my older brother and sister from Christmas of 1970. I was trying to figure out why two are in color and one in black and white. My grandfather was still alive then, and he was an avid photographer. He even had his own darkroom and developed all of his own photos.

I still make this exact facial expression, and my brother still has this big, goofy grin  

Continue Reading…

Roots and Wings

Friday, December 23, 2016 No tags Permalink

My children each year ask me the same question. After thinking about it, I decided I’d give them my real answer:

What do I want for Christmas? I want you. I want you to keep coming around, I want you to bring your kids around, I want you to ask me questions, ask my advice, tell me your problems, ask for my opinion, ask for my help. I want you to come over and rant about your problems, rant about life, whatever. Tell me about your job, your worries, your spouse, your kids. I want you to continue sharing your life with me. Come over and laugh with me, or laugh at me, I don’t care. Hearing you laugh is music to me.

I spent the better part of my life raising you the best way I knew how, and I’m not bragging, but I did a pretty darn good job. Now, give me time to sit back and admire my work, I’m pretty proud of it.

Raid my refrigerator, help yourself, I really don’t mind. In fact, I wouldn’t want it any other way.

I want you to spend your money making a better life for you and your family, I have the things I need. I want to see you happy and healthy. When you ask me what I want for Christmas, I say “nothing” because you’ve already been giving me my gift all year. I want you.

I am bragging, because I think I really did do a good job with my son. He started his Christmas break from work yesterday. He knew that this is always an extremely hectic work week for me, so he surprised me by stopping by my office to say hello and bring me a latte. And earlier this week I had a flat tire, he kept checking on my thought the day,seeing if I needed help or a ride. In short, he thinks of those around him instead of thinking that the world revolves around him.  One day he’s going to make an excellent husband.

One of my favorite photos of him on this day in 2008. I know it wasn’t December 23, 2009 because I was having back surgery on that day and definitely not crawling around on the floor with my camera! 

Continue Reading…

Show Up

Wednesday, December 21, 2016 No tags Permalink

I don’t know the words for what I see happening in Aleppo. I don’t know how to make it make sense. How did we let it come to this? How did blind eyes get turned for so very long, how did we give headline space to Donald Trump and his circus over this crisis? How do we still? I am heartbroken by every piece of every news coming from Syria, I am destroyed with every image of every bomb dropping, every person killed, every child displaced. It is too much. It is too far. We must stand up and let our voices combine and speak about this. We must help. We must stop brushing under the rugs all things that make us uncomfortable, we must erase the notion that out of sight can mean out of mind. We are here, together, and we are wasting our precious time killing one another for our differences rather than loving because of them. No more. Still, words are hollow if not given shape with action, and so we must act. I have listed numerous charities that are on the front lines of this tragedy and all of whom need our help so desperately. Give. Stand with Aleppo and put your money where your heart is. Support this global refugee movement and open doors instead of slamming them shut. Help. Watch. Research and learn.

Instead of buying yet another Christmas gift, give to one of these agencies.  That’s what I did.

Continue Reading…

In You The Earth

Tuesday, December 20, 2016 No tags Permalink

L

Little
rose,
roselet,
at times,
tiny and naked,
it seems
as though you would fit
in one of my hands,
as though I’ll clasp you like this
and carry you to my mouth,
but
suddenly
my feet touch your feet and my mouth your lips:
you have grown,
your shoulders rise like two hills,
your breasts wander over my breast,
my arm scarcely manages to encircle the thin
new-moon line of your waist:
in love you loosened yourself like sea water:
I can scarcely measure the sky’s most spacious eyes
and I lean down to your mouth to kiss the earth.
-Pablo Neruda

I Can’t Put My Arms Down

Thursday, December 15, 2016 No tags Permalink

I felt just like Randy from the movie A Christmas Story this morning. Too. Many. Layers.

That’s one thing I really dislike about winter– clothes.   😉 However, I dislike being cold even more than I dislike clothes.

This movie always makes me laugh.  Plus, it’s set in northern Indiana in the 1940s, so it’s very reminiscent of my parents’ childhood.  My dad loves to tell me the story of his childhood Christmases, and how he and his three brothers would get just oranges and mittens for presents. A few years ago I read a hilarious book by Havel Kimmel, who also happened to grow up in Indiana. In the book, she wrote this about her father:

“all men of a certain age tell this story, and they give themselves away by always using the same fruit. I have yet to meet the father who will look his child in the eye and say, “I was happy just to get some seedless grapes.” But”
― Haven Kimmel, A Girl Named Zippy

Dulzura {Poetry}

Tuesday, December 13, 2016 No tags Permalink

image
Make love to me in Spanish.
Not with that other tongue.
I want you juntito a mi,
tender like the language
crooned to babies.
I want to be that
lullabied, mi bien
querido, that loved.

I want you inside
the mouth of my heart,
inside the harp of my wrists,
the sweet meat of the mango,
in the gold that dangles
from my ears and neck.

Say my name. Say it.
The way it’s supposed to be said.
I want to know that I knew you
even before I knew you.

Sandra Cisneros

Tempus Fugit

Thursday, December 8, 2016 No tags Permalink

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I came across these photos the other day and noticed they were taken 10 years ago this month. In my mind, my son still looks like this to me, except, well… taller. A lot taller. 😉 He just got back from a trip to NYC with his dad, and while he was there he sent me photos.

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When this photo came through on my phone, my first thought was, “Why did he send me a photo of his dad?” And then I looked closer and realized that it wasn’t his dad in the photo, it was Ian. I’m often struck by just how much they look alike now that Ian is an adult. Wow, are my genes ever recessive! Luckily for him, he did get the height from my side of the family. 😊

Continue Reading…

Every Day

Wednesday, December 7, 2016 No tags Permalink

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An excellent read:

Remind me to always lie with you, but never to you, and that hurt only hurts while it lasts. Remind me to hold hands but never hold back.

Remind me of love, remind me of heart, and remind me that life will not tear me apart today, but if it tries and when it does, remind me that I’m good enough to be enough for you.

Remind me that the only way to make it last is to put us first, and remind me that the past is a prelude and pain is a choice, that I’ll get knocked down but I can get up quick, and yes, I’ll get destroyed but I can rebuild again.

When you see me flailing in rough seas, coughing up lungfuls of dark waves, and I’m thinking I’m sinking because my arms are numb and I can’t feel my legs, remind me with a hushed assurance and a knowing grin, “You’ll drown slower if your chin’s up, friend.”

Remind me to have faith.

Remind me why I love you.

Remind me that the stargaze stares we share and the galaxies we wish to explore are inside, not above, that the paths we long to travel are internal, not foreign, and remind me when my dreams seem lost like faraway lands in disrepair, that you’ll hold my hand and always care.

Remind me that it’s me you think about when you wish for happily ever after.

Remind me that not all aches are bad, that black nights still shine light and even in rainstorms or when hail comes and the sky is filled with emptiness we run from, the sun is always out somewhere.

Remind me that I am filled with light.

Remind me why your eyes do such funny things to mine and how, sometimes, time stops in the shadow of your smile.

Remind me that storm clouds are just water up high in the sky, that water is needed, that water gives life, and though it may arrive in drops of sweat or tears of strife, remind me that I can heal.

Remind me to keep you close but to never go too far, and remind me that even if we feel like a lifetime stopped and stuck in its tracks like a frozen statue of our distant past, even if it feels like pointless paralysis or a beginner’s magic trick, even when we resemble an empty well all out of wishes, remind me it will be okay and already is.

Remind me that you are strong, and remind me so am I.

Remind me that you aren’t scared when, can’t run from, won’t hide, and don’t mind my pain when it’s all I know and feel and fear.

Remind me that we’ll never know how it ends until it does, and even then, it doesn’t because what we have and who we are isn’t something we can just pack up and leave behind, like some kind of shooting star in some cold and fleeting night.

Remind me how I love getting lost in you.

Remind me that you are an adventure worth taking and never forgetting.

Remind me it starts now, today, for always in all ways, and remind me to remind you of this, all of it, always in all ways.

-Jeremy Goldberg

Sonnet XIII

Tuesday, December 6, 2016 No tags Permalink

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The light that rises from your feet to your hair,
the strength enfolding your delicate form,
are not mother of pearl, not chilly silver:
you are made of bread, a bread the fire adores.

The grain grew high in its harvest of you,
in good time the flour swelled;
as the dough rose, doubling your breasts,
my love was the coal waiting ready in the earth.

Oh, bread your forehead, your legs, your mouth,
bread I devour, born with the morning light,
my love, beacon-flag of the bakeries:

fire taught you a lesson of the blood;
you learned your holiness from flour,
from bread your language and aroma.

.·:*¨ ¨*:·..·:*¨ ¨*:·..·:*¨ ¨*:·.

La luz que de tus pies sube a tu cabellera,
la turgencia que envuelve tu forma delicada,
no es de nácar marino, nunca de plata fría:
eres de pan, de pan amado por el fuego.

La harina levantó su granero contigo
y creció incrementada por la edad venturosa,
cuando los cereales duplicaron tu pecho
mi amor era el carbón trabajando en la tierra.

Oh, pan tu frente, pan tus piernas, pan tu boca,
pan que devoro y nace con luz cada mañana,
bienamada, bandera de las panaderías,

una lección de sangre te dio el fuego,
de la harina aprendiste a ser sagrada,
y del pan el idioma y el aroma.

A Song

Monday, December 5, 2016 No tags Permalink

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💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕

Best

Thursday, December 1, 2016 No tags Permalink

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Those small, nameless moments make up the bulk of our lives, and for that I am so grateful. They make life so rich, without costing a thing. When people say “the best things in life are free” I believe this is what they’re talking about. Laughing together, shared stories, quiet moments spent looking into each other’s eyes, whispered “I love you”s, and smiling. This is what matters. This is what is important.