Bits and Bobs

Thursday, January 28, 2016 No tags Permalink

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I read this quote yesterday and I absolutely love it! I need reminders like that, especially this time of year. I was talking with a patient this morning and telling me how January makes me feel “blah”. He calls everybody darling. He said, “darling, come with me” and grabbed my hand. We went out the front door and stood in the sunshine. He had me close my eyes and told me to breathe in the sunshine and exhale out all the b.s. He made my day, and I made sure to tell him that. Little things like that can change an entire day. I’ll try to do my best to pay it forward. 🙂

 

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For Desire {Poetry}

Tuesday, January 26, 2016 No tags Permalink

imageGive me the strongest cheese, the one that stinks best;
and I want the good wine, the swirl in crystal
surrendering the bruised scent of blackberries,
or cherries, the rich spurt in the back
of the throat, the holding it there before swallowing.
Give me the lover who yanks open the door
of his house and presses me to the wall
in the dim hallway, and keeps me there until I’m drenched
and shaking, whose kisses arrive by the boatload
and begin their delicious diaspora
through the cities and small towns of my body.
To hell with the saints, with martyrs
of my childhood meant to instruct me
in the power of endurance and faith,
to hell with the next world and its pallid angels
swooning and sighing like Victorian girls.
I want this world. I want to walk into
the ocean and feel it trying to drag me along
like I’m nothing but a broken bit of scratched glass,
and I want to resist it. I want to go
staggering and flailing my way
through the bars and back rooms,
through the gleaming hotels and weedy
lots of abandoned sunflowers and the parks
where dogs are let off their leashes
in spite of the signs, where they sniff each
other and roll together in the grass, I want to
lie down somewhere and suffer for love until
it nearly kills me, and then I want to get up again
and put on that little black dress and wait
for you, yes you, to come over here
and get down on your knees and tell me
just how fucking good I look.

– Kim Addonizio

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Gym Wildlife

Monday, January 25, 2016 No tags Permalink

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Its fair to say that I spend a lot of time in the gym. I just pulled my stats for 2015, and last year I spent 365 hours just lifting weights.  It’s also fair to say that I see some very interesting things in those hours.  That’s probably why this video made me laugh so hard.

I for one am ready for all the New Years resolution people to go back to wherever they came from and stop coming to the gym. If I have one more woman ask me if I’m afraid of getting too big from lifting weights, I’m going to scream.

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Shattered Starlight {Poetry}

Tuesday, January 19, 2016 No tags Permalink

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She had stars behind each eyelid,
And a galaxy in her soul,
That drew people to her endless heart,
Like the pull of a black hole,
She was made of earth and fire,
Of wishes cast on shooting stars,
She was a brand new solar system,
Unlike the ones they’d known so far,
With constellations ever changing,
No one could memorise her skies,
And they thought the thing for them to do,
Was bring her to their size,
They shrunk the universe within her,
Told her her vast expanse was wrong,
That she should make her life much smaller,
If she wanted to belong,
As they collapsed her world around her,
She felt her inner stars grow cold,
Until her life was far too heavy,
For her once strong arms to hold,
You might wonder how it happened,
But I guess that it makes sense,
Because a life becomes much heavier,
When it’s the universe condensed.

-Erin Hanson

Dreaming With Open Eyes

Monday, January 18, 2016 No tags Permalink

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“I lived in books more than I lived anywhere else.”

― Neil Gaiman, The Ocean at the End of the Lane 

And this is why I’ll take the company of a good book over the company of most people any day of the week.  A book is always there for you, and, if you choose well, a book rarely disappoints.

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When reading, we don’t fall in love with a character’s appearance. We fall in love with their words, their thoughts, and their hearts.  We fall in love with their souls.  The world would be a better place if we operated like this all the time

This made me laugh:

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Ch-ch-ch-changes

Friday, January 15, 2016 No tags Permalink

Quite àpropos for this week.

Like many of us, I’ve had my fair share of the bottom falling out in my life. At the time, I thought that it was the worst thing, and hat my life was falling apart. I suppose it was falling apart, but that allowed forced me to make changes.  Fortunately, it not longer takes ruin to force me to change. It’s not always easy, and it’s certainly not always painless, but it’s necessary.

Elizabeth Gilbert sums it up so well:

Let me begin by saying that the ruin I’m talking about here is not something I would encourage anyone to ever deliberately seek. I’ve seen people who chase darkness and destruction on purpose (sometimes for the glamour of it, sometimes for the romance of it, sometimes for the sheer self-hatred of it) and this is not a path that I am capable of endorsing for anybody.

No, I’m talking about the ruin that happens to you, without you ever seeing it coming. The chaos that sneaks up on you.

Because sometimes the bottom falls out of our lives. People leave us. Precious certainties are yanked away. We lose our health, our money, our gifts, our faith, our familiar surroundings, our trust. All the truths that we thought we could believe in forever suddenly depart us with no warning. The ground that we always knew was solid under our feet turns out to have been nothing but a trap door all along. (And then there’s another trap door under that one.) We disappoint ourselves. We are disappointed by others. We get dead lost. We are no longer longer recognizable to ourselves when we look in the mirror. It all falls to ruin.

And that, my friends, is when things start to get really interesting.

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Anticipation of Love {Poetry}

Tuesday, January 12, 2016 No tags Permalink

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Neither the intimacy of your look, your brow fair as a feast day,
nor the favor of your body, still mysterious, reserved, and childlike,
nor what comes to me of your life, settling in words or silence,
will be so mysterious a gift
as the sight of your sleep, enfolded
in the vigil of my arms.
Virgin again, miraculously, by the absolving power of sleep,
quiet and luminous like some happy thing recovered by memory,
you will give me that shore of your life that you yourself do not own.
Cast up into silence
I shall discern that ultimate beach of your being
and see you for the first time, perhaps,
as God must see you —
the fiction of Time destroyed,
free from love, from me.

-Jorge Luis Borges

Two Things

Monday, January 11, 2016 No tags Permalink

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This pretty much looked like me when I went out today. Either winter’s not for me, or I’m not made for winter. I need a vacation. On a beach. A beach with warm sunshine. That’s all I ask. Okay, some books to read would be nice too. And tacos. I have been craving tacos lately. Lately, as in the last 20 years or so. 😉

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Welcome, New Year!

Thursday, December 31, 2015 No tags Permalink

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I love these questions! However, I’m not going to answer them here, because some things are too personal even for my “private” blog. My favorite question is number 5, when did I feel most alive? I think the answer to that question can tell us a lot about what is most important in life. I actually picture this precise moment in my head over and over again, it was that profound.

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From Poem after Carlos Drummond de Andrade

Tuesday, December 29, 2015 No tags Permalink

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Life got its tentacles around you,
its hooks into your heart,
and suddenly you come awake as if for the first time, and
you are standing in a part of the town where the air is
sweet—your face flushed, your chest thumping, your
stomach a planet, your heart a planet, your every organ a
separate planet, all of it a piece though the pieces turn
separately, O silent indications of the inevitable, as among
the natural restraints of winter and good sense, life blows
you apart in her arms.

-Marvin Bell

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Strong Women

Monday, December 28, 2015 No tags Permalink

A beautiful article by Cat O’Connor. To all the strong women I know, love, and admire. Thank you for the inspiration.

Be patient with a strong woman, it’s worth the effort

Yes, she is strong.

That strength born from facing fear, heartache, challenges and countless obstacles along her path; strength awakened as she found her own way through the storms.

This strength, built over a lifetime, has become something which defines her — a quality others see and admire, a quality available within all women, within everyone. A quality, and yet, also a defense mechanism, a tool for survival.

Not everyone finds that strength within, not every woman chooses strength as their tool.

Other women turn in various directions, draw upon various tools, and may, at times along their journey, allow themselves to break.

Those others are also her.

Because she is strong, yet in that strength is weakness.

Her strength came through the cracks of her brokenness. Behind the mask of strength are more masks — masks of fear and doubt, vulnerability and pain, uncertainty and insecurity.

The strong woman doesn’t always want to be strong. It can be a heavy weight to continually carry.

Expectations come with this strength, both from within and from the world around her.

Know that she’s looking at times for a soft space to land; to let go without judgment, without being told she needs to be fixed. Without being condemned or looked down upon.

Without being made to feel like she’s failed simply for showing another side of herself.

Be kind to this woman.

She’s spent so much time and energy working to build herself up, dig herself out and help herself up that sometimes she’s tired. Sometimes she feels weak. Lonely. Spent.

She’s become so used to wearing her mask of strength, holding herself up and pushing herself forward that it will take tremendous effort to let it go, to drop her guard.

Protecting her heart and persevering through have become so second nature to her that she may not even realize that letting go, tapping out, and giving in is what she wants and what she truly needs to do.

An inner struggle arises: I need to be strong, but I’m afraid to be weak. What will happen if I allow someone in? What will people think if I ask for help or let myself go or allow myself to rest?

The strong woman’s mind runs wild with those demons she’s been standing strong against. Opening up to vulnerability and uncertainty takes a whole new kind of strength — a form of strength that requires letting others in.

Letting her walls down and allowing herself to be real; it means actually facing the demons, rather than simply building walls around herself to keep them out.

Please be patient with a strong woman who crosses your path or joins you on the journey. It may not be easy to love her, but it will definitely be worth the effort. That strong woman will love you fiercely, faithfully and unwaveringly.

Allow her to let go, and be sure to hold her softly as she lands.

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Christmas

Thursday, December 24, 2015 No tags Permalink

drink the red

Honestly, I like red wine better, but I’ll drink either one. Best of all is Champagne! I have a great bottle in my wine rack right now, but I won’t be opening it tomorrow because none of my Christmas guest like Champagne. How is this possible? I know my son won’t touch it because he hates anything carbonated. Anyhow, once the bottle is opened, you have to drink it all or it will go flat, and not wanting to waste a $40 bottle, I’d drink it all.  (Also, I adore Champagne!) A glass and a half in, I’d have the giggles. 🙂 Champagne always makes me think of this little ditty by Dorothy Parker:

“Inventory:

“Four be the things I am wiser to know:
Idleness, sorrow, a friend, and a foe.
Four be the things I’d been better without:
Love, curiosity, freckles, and doubt.
Three be the things I shall never attain:
Envy, content, and sufficient champagne.
Three be the things I shall have till I die:
Laughter and hope and a sock in the eye.”

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Remember, Body {Poetry}

Tuesday, December 22, 2015 No tags Permalink

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Remember, body, all of you houses
not only the path from one room to the next
the purpling of muscle
—in veins while you are young
love remembering, body, how to crouch like glass
how a doctor told you that pain is the first to return
watching out the window for snow—the eyes were your eyes
the love of others, body
ones who came for you in your smallest houses
in the winter—sacred hands in January that traced
the current down your spine
longing
remember, body

-Jessica Durham

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Humanity and Kindness

Monday, December 21, 2015 No tags Permalink

imageOh, how I miss this sweet face! So many of my friends have lost their beloved dogs recently. Even though my little girl has been gone almost three years now, it feels more recent.

I found this quote several years ago, and it always makes me laugh:

“I would rather have a good, funny loyal dog than a man. It’s taken me a few years to come to that conclusion, and I’m happier for it.” -Anonymous

Dogs really are so much more loyal and consistent than humans. They’re always there for you, good cuddlers, and excellent listeners. It’s no wonder we love them so much!

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Holiday To Do List

Thursday, December 17, 2015 No tags Permalink

imageHow about make love and make cookies?  I love cookies, especially Christmas cookies. My son and I have a tradition of making my grandmother’s sour cream sugar cookies each year. Actually, we eat a lot of the raw dough, until we have a stomach ache. Salmonella be damned! 😉

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Gifts for the Fitness Lover

Wednesday, December 16, 2015 No tags Permalink

 

Gifts for the fitness lover

Gifts for the fitness lover

Got a fitness lover on your Christmas list? Here are some great suggestions they’re sure to love (and actually use!) this year:

  1. The water bobble. Hydration is essential when you’re working out. This BPA-free bottle comes in a multitude of colors and both 18.5 and 34 ounce sizes. Best of all, there’s an activated carbon filter, so you’re not stuck drinking water fountain water.
  2. Suck it up, buttercup tank from Gymdoll.
  3. Polar HR7 heart rate monitor. This comfortable HR monitor connects via Bluetooth to your phone or iPod and syncs flawlessly with the free Polar app. The sensor has batteries you can change yourself and the strap is machine washable.  I can’t say enough about this product. If you run, bike, or workout in a gym, you need this!
  4. Quad Lock armband. I love how secure this feels. I also love that there’s an accompanying mount for both your bicycle and car. If you’re running around with an expensive phone strapped to your arm, you want to be certain that it stays there.
  5. Fit Four Spartan grip gloves. The open thumb design is great because that prevents bunching on the palm. Just the right amount of padding, my hand have been callous-free since buying these.  The wrist wraps give great support.
  6. Rock My Run.  I’ve written about this app before, and it just keeps getting better and better.   You can see my other review for the details.  There are hundreds of mixes in most every musical genre, and the keep adding more weekly. I use this app every time I work out. You can choose the mix based on beats per minute, or set it to match your stride or heart rate (if you’re wearing a HR monitor). There are quite a few mixes that come with the free version, but I have the paid version called “Rockstar”. It’s well worth the nominal fee, and they’ve just added a lifetime membership option.  Want to try a free month on me? Just go here and use promo code rockit7. You’re welcome. 🙂
  7. Dona Jo leggings in Paulista.  Cute, comfortable, and colorful. What more could you want? How about 20% off your purchase?

Civil War {Poetry}

Tuesday, December 15, 2015 No tags Permalink

Civil War {To those who need it the most}

 

I do not love you for your

strength and grit, for your set jaw,

for the harsh cartography of your knuckled fist.

I do not love you for your

sharp corners.

I rub your tensed wrist like

a pliant mouth, I wait for spread

fingers and vulnerable palm:

a hollow nest to dream in.

I want the hurt you soothe like an

ulcer in your mouth, your nighttime terror

your raw-eyed vulnerability:

these un-armored parts which

are mine alone.

Darling you are not at war.

Slow down, breathe deep, drop your guard.

No one is chasing you but me.

-Joanna Joseph

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Stop the Glorification of Busy

Sunday, December 13, 2015 No tags Permalink

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If you live in America in the 21st century you’ve probably had to listen to a lot of people tell you how busy they are. It’s become the default response when you ask anyone how they’re doing: “Busy!” “So busy.” “Crazy busy.” It is, pretty obviously, a boast disguised as a complaint. And the stock response is a kind of congratulation: “That’s a good problem to have,” or “Better than the opposite.”

It’s not as if any of us wants to live like this; it’s something we collectively force one another to do. Notice it isn’t generally people pulling back-to-back shifts in the I.C.U. or commuting by bus to three minimum-wage jobs who tell you how busy they are; what those people are is not busy but tired. Exhausted. Dead on their feet. It’s almost always people whose lamented busyness is purely self-imposed: work and obligations they’ve taken on voluntarily, classes and activities they’ve “encouraged” their kids to participate in. They’re busy because of their own ambition or drive or anxiety, because they’re addicted to busyness and dread what they might have to face in its absence. -The New York Times

 

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What’s What

Thursday, December 10, 2015 No tags Permalink

What I’m Reading: Change Your Brain, Change Your Life by Dr. Daniel Amen and Hidden Talents by my talented (pun fully intended) Edward Branley. These things I know: 1) Our brains are fascinating and 2) Go buy Edward’s book.

What I’m Watching: I’m slowly making my way through the Danish series Borgen on DVD. It’s excellent. If you’ve never heard of it, it’s a show about Denmark’s first female Prime Minister. Don’t worry, it’s subtitled in English.

What I’m Listening To: Mostly Christmas music. I love Sarah McLaughlin’s cover of Joni Mitchell’s River

What I’m Wearing: Black and gray herringbone pants and a black shirt. Me wear black? Shocking! 😉
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What I’m Eating: A delicious mix of dried tart cherries, pistachios, and cashews. We have a big container of it at work and I absolutely love it.

What I’m Enjoying: This warm weather we’re having lately. 67 degrees in mid-December isn’t too bad. No white Christmas for us this year.

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What I’m Sniffing: My Christmas candle and the cup of chamomile tea I’m making. It’s good for sleepy time.