Sometimes, I really wish that my parents hadn’t taught me to be so polite. Or maybe I should become a hermit. I don’t know. What I do know that is has been a very strange day. I’ve been stuck listening to a man I barely know talk for nearly three hours about how Obama is ruining this country with his “Obamacare”, he could never live in California like I did because it is, and I quote, “full of illegals”, and that he is a good Christian and I am not because he goes to church every week and I don’t. I found it all so completely offensive. My head hurts and I was biting my tongue so hard that I’m surprised it’s not bleeding. To top it all off, he had the audacity to ask me if I wanted to go on a date. Are you freaking kidding me? Not just no, but hell no. Politeness does not equal flirting. Men, especially, have a hard time with this concept. It frustrates me to no end. It should be okay to be polite and friendly without it being mistaken for flirting.
Harry: You realize of course that we could never be friends.
Sally: Why not?
Harry: What I’m saying is — and this is not a come-on in any way, shape or form — is that men and women can’t be friends because the sex part always gets in the way.
Sally: That’s not true. I have a number of men friends and there is no sex involved.
Harry: No you don’t.
Sally: Yes I do.
Harry: No you don’t.
Sally: Yes I do.
Harry: You only think you do.
Sally: You say I’m having sex with these men without my knowledge?
Harry: No, what I’m saying is they all want to have sex with you.
Sally: They do not.
Harry: Do too.
Sally: They do not.
Harry: Do too.
Sally: How do you know?
Harry: Because no man can be friends with a woman that he finds attractive. He always wants to have sex with her.
Sally: So you’re saying that a man can be friends with a woman he finds unattractive?
Harry: No, you pretty much want to nail ’em too.
Sally: What if they don’t want to have sex with you?
Harry: Doesn’t matter because the sex thing is already out there so the friendship is ultimately doomed and that is the end of the story.
Sally: Well, I guess we’re not going to be friends then.
Harry: Guess not.
Sally: That’s too bad. You were the only person that I knew in New York.
A great scene from one of my favorite movies. After all these years, I’m still a Sally. I should know better. I do know better. I just don’t want to believe it.
December 1, 2014
I’m obviously not qualified to give advice, but the words I cling to are “please yourself” and the rest will come naturally. Sadly, I’m still trying to learn the power of those words…
December 1, 2014
As a woman and as your friend I can say this to you– you’re not just pretty, you’re beautiful and incredibly striking. That is both a blessing and a curse. Photos don’t do you justice because they don’t capture your energy. In person you shine. There is an essence of purity and genuineness about you, and I can see how many, many men would be drawn to you. That’s also a blessing and a curse. You have a sweet and innocent personality, and unfortunately, that makes it easy to take advantage of you. It’s a testament to your true nature that you’ve been able to remain this way after all you’ve been through. I love you!